By: The Rev. Dr. W. Ross Blackburn
Did the condemnation of Eli come because he was a negligent father or a negligent priest? Given the way that the Scriptures seem to collapse these categories, perhaps we can take them together. After all, a man is not qualified to oversee the household of God if he has not well overseen his own: “He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?” (1 Tim. 3:4-5).
Eli is a sobering character in the Bible, in large part because he wasn’t all bad. After all, he did rebuke his sons for their sexual promiscuity. But apparently it was not enough, for the Lord condemns Eli for failing to restrain them. He did something, but not enough. In the end, it appears that Eli was a passive father. (If we read back into chapter 2, we see that Eli partook of the forbidden fat portions that his sons extorted from the people. One whose heart is not right before God will have no firm inclination, and certainly no success, in leading the hearts of his children toward God.) There is a pervasive and damaging cultural expectation that teenagers will have rebellious attitudes and “experiment” (oh, how the language we use lets us off the hook) with things like alcohol and sex. It ought not be so among us in the covenant community. In His Spirit and His Word, the Lord has given everything fathers need to train their children, with the full expectation that as we do they will not depart from the ways of the Lord (Prov. 22:6). A child rebelling is therefore not inevitable but is rather the effect of something gone wrong in the home. And the stakes are high. As the epistle for today explains, sexual sin is a sin against the body, which means it gets inside us, it damages us, in a way other sin does not. Sexual sin cannot be taken back. Rather, it will remain with our sons and daughters throughout their days and into their marriages. Fathers cannot be passive in dealing with sin in their households. Passivity among fathers is largely responsible for the devastating phenomena we call sexual promiscuity and abortion and other attendant problems.
The church needs fathers, formed by Christ, fully engaged in leading their families in the ways of the Lord and creating a culture of faithfulness in the home. This will include watching over our sons and our daughters. Practically. This may mean making difficult decisions concerning dating and friends. For some it may mean withdrawing a child from school or getting rid of the television or the internet or the Xbox. It may mean a change in work that allows a parent to be home and the father not to be absent. It may mean giving up golf or other things that draw us away from our children. It may mean getting up earlier and learning how to pray. How we do this in our own homes is a matter of Biblical counsel, prayer, and wisdom. But it must be done. Actively. What would you not change for the sake of your children? Eli stands as a warning to well-meaning yet passive fathers.